Love and Addiction: Just Let it Go
Relationships that start off great often lead to despair and tears. Sometimes letting go of someone you love seems like the hardest thing to do. However, holding on to something that isn't working will eventually just make matters worse. When things sour in our relationships, it can catch us by surprise and it can be devastating.
While we are in romantic relationships, we get comfortable with the other person. Being together becomes a second nature, a given. We can't envision being without that person. We create a reality centered on that person and when a future with that person becomes an impossibility, we crumble.
Letting go of someone who changed who you are in a drastic way is extremely difficult. However, holding on to something that no longer can exist, is unhealthy and detrimental to your emotional and psychological health. But letting go is necessary for you to get better and to move on to living a meaningful and happy life. What you need to do is realize that it is necessary to let this person go. It may be the hardest thing you have to do, but it is the only thing to do.
Acknowledging that it is over is hard, but in the long run, healthy. Staying active, finding new things to do such as hobbies - physical fitness, reading, whatever it may be can help, but it isn't going to replace what you felt for that individual who you thought would be there with you forever. An important step in letting go of someone you love is to acknowledge the reasons why you had to part ways. This is also difficult.
You may dwell on the positive memories, the moments of love and laughter. But what you also need to do is remember the bad times. The lowest times in your relationship. Do not IDEALIZE it. It was NOT perfect.
Another thing to do in coping with loss, is reminding yourself that it is absolutely necessary to let this person go. If you don't make this clear in your mind, you will attempt to get this person back. By this time, you should know and understand that is not going to happen by pushing things. You will do things you'll regret. It can get very ugly.
When you're ready and can truly let the person go, you need to love yourself. Think of the things you love about yourself - not the person you were in the relationship that has ended, but what you love about yourself and only you. Then you can move on and love someone else again. You need to let go and know that you need to let go. That'ts the first step. Accept it. The same applies to addiction.
Let it go and work on you. Then you can love again.